


And Then There Was You

by shadowsamurai



Category: Waking the Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-08 21:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following Boyd's thoughts about the women in his life, past, present and possible future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Then There Was You

**Author's Note:**

> All lyrics used belong to Meatloaf. So, something a little different. Following Boyd's thoughts about the women in his life - Mary, Grace, Mel, Frankie, Eve, Stella, Sarah. The segments aren't in that order - see if you can guess who is whom. Spoilers up to and including Season 7.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

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*Maybe we can talk all night  
But that ain't getting us nowhere  
I've told you everything I possibly can  
There's nothing left inside of here  
And maybe you can cry all night  
But that'll never change the way that I feel*

He had tried to love her. He had seen so much of himself in her, and he had tried to love that about her, so, in some perverse way, he could love himself again. He tried so hard that sometimes it hurt, but in the end, there was nothing there. She always gave so much; gave him another chance, gave him her forgiveness, gave him everything she had, but it wasn't enough. He couldn't give her the one thing she wanted from him; his blessing in everything she did.

It had started one night. They were talking and she wouldn't leave him alone. She wouldn't rest until he gave her what he couldn't. Then she started crying, and he hated that. Hated the sound because it made him feel weak; he didn't know how to stop it, and that day, he didn't want to. He was already thinking of someone else, someone from his past.

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*The snow is really piling up outside  
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here  
I've poured it on and I poured it out  
I've tried to show you just how much I care  
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout  
But you've been cold to me so long I'm crying icicles instead of tears*

She had been his first true love, and they had shared so much together. They had been happy, the envy of their friends, but like all good things, it didn't last. He knew who was to blame, but she wasn't without her share of culpability in the whole matter. She, of course, put the fault entirely on his shoulders, and had turned him out on the street. But it took two to make things good and it took two to tears things down again, and no matter how he tried, he couldn't make her see that. She had closed herself off from him, and while he couldn't blame her, it still hurt. In the end, he did the only thing he could do; he left and he didn't look back, even when she started to call his name. Even when she started crying. She had made the choice; he was now abiding by it.

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*And all I can do is keep on telling you  
I want you, I need you  
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you  
Now don't be sad  
'Cause two out of three ain't bad*

After all his failed relationships, he really thought she was the one. He thought she could thaw his frozen heart, make blood pump through his dead veins once again. He had tried. He always tried. It just didn't seem to be enough. They had enjoyed good times, and he had found a small amount of comfort in her arms, but it simply wasn't enough. Whatever he was looking for, he hadn't found it in her, and he found that saddened him. He really thought she was the one.

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*I can't lie  
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not, no matter how I try  
I'll never be able to give you something, something that I just haven't got*

He had lied about everything, one way or another. Always pushed her away, kept her at a distance, and it wasn't until years later he understood why. She wanted something from him, sometimes it seemed like she wanted *anything* from him. He couldn't give her what she wanted because he didn't know what it was. Then when he realised, the hurt was just too much for them both to bear. She wanted something from him that he simply didn't have. She wanted him to love her, and he knew he didn't have it in him; it was lost with another woman from his past, a long time ago.

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*Well there's only one girl that I will ever love  
And that was so many years ago  
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart  
She never loved me back, I know*

She was simply perfect, and what made her more so to him was that she never knew it. She was always trying to be better; be stronger, braver, more professional. But he didn't want her to change. He loved her just the way she was, even if she never knew it, even if she never felt the same way. Her smile lit up any room she walked into; her eyes illuminated his entire life. And when he lost her, he lost the only shining beacon of hope he had ever known.

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*Well I remember how she left on a stormy night  
She kissed me and got out of our bed  
And though I pleaded and I begged her not to walk out that door  
She packed her bags and turned right away  
And she kept on telling me, she kept on telling, she kept on telling me  
I want you, I need you  
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you  
Now don't be sad  
'Cause two out of three ain't bad*

In losing one, he had turned to another, but things had turned out the same way. He had tried, he always tried, and he never succeeded in making them stay or keeping them happy. His lot was to love and lose, it seemed, and he was tired of it. They had gravitated together in their united grief, but he couldn't hold onto her either. She had needed him for a while, to help her through the difficult time she was experiencing, but in the end, she left him. She couldn't stay; she didn't love him, and she didn't want to lie to either of them for any longer. He remembered telling her it didn't matter; he told her to lie to him as much as he wanted, just as long as she didn't leave him. After she was gone, he wondered why he had tried so hard to make her stay; he didn't miss her very much after all.

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*Maybe we can talk all night  
But that ain't getting us nowhere*

And now, here he was, sat in on the couch with the woman who was currently important in his life. Again, they had reached a crossroads, both giving, taking and wanting, but not the right things for each other. They gave what they could afford to lose, and they took what the other wouldn't give. Both wanted something, and neither knew what that was. And for now, they were content to convince themselves they had found it in each other.

FIN


End file.
